Probably time for an update

So. Here's a little to catch y'all up on what's been going on, if anybody even reads this anymore. hahaha

1) Relationships. The biggie. Complex, been talking to an interesting lady that will be unnamed if things don't quite work out (lol). Anyways, seems like she's not ready for a relationship at this point and I'm stuck at a crossroads debating what to do next. Kinda frustrating, but it's happened before. God must be my guide if I'm to get out of this alive.

2) Career. Also another biggie. After a little more than a year of debate, it seems I am still going to apply to the Canadian Forces. Few complications still, but it seems to be the goal at this point. Medical Technician first, perhaps move onto JTF2 in the future, or perhaps as a SarTech later down the road. At this point though, I can't see myself doing anything else. Pumped to apply and join up!

3) Knee injury. The thing preventing me from applying right at this instant is knee surgery. Tore ACL in early November 2012 and still waiting on reconstructive surgery. Rehab is going to be a pain. yeahh....

4) Spiritual stuff. Feeling like I "know enough stuff", spiritually speaking. I have doctrines down for the most part. Living it out actively is the difficult part. Being active in sharing the gospel is always a challenge, especially with the Campus Response Team. There have been times where I've 'successfully' shared the gospel and times where I flat-out fail and give up. I suppose that'll be another challenge when I'm recruited into the army. PURE JOY!

Anyways. This'll be neat to look back on a few years from now. I really hope to keep in touch with some of the folks at UWCRT. I think I've already found my tight friends from fellowship. A handful of solid Christian brothers and sisters who will keep me fighting the good fight. And as long as Christ is the center of that relationship, nobody can take anything away. 

Courageous

So we watched Courageous yesterday. Solid movie, good stuff. Not as much 'theological/conceptual/theoretical' things in the movie (which is what I usually look for), but a lot more real life application (which is what I lack). getowned. Made me realize how absent my father was for most of my life and how that's molded me to be a better man, a better father (when the time comes), a bolder follower.

But despite all those good things, I realize I will fail often and fail hard. And that despite these failures, I am forgiven and free from legal obligations. Doesn't mean I don't do my best, but it means that even when I fall, I can pick myself up knowing that Christ has already paid my debt on the cross.

New career option?

So lately, after attending MIXER with the UWCRT folks in Ottawa, I've been considering joining the military to be a medical technician. Not sure what it would be like, things still really uncertain, but for the first time it seems like I have a direction in life. (surprise!) I'm still debating between reserves and full-time but I'm leaning towards full-time. The biggest debate in my mind currently is the issue of family and how I would raise children properly if I'm not going to be around often. In addition, lots of time away from wife/kids (when/if I get married) could mean issues.

Regardless, that is something that will just be dealt with when it arises. The only thing stopping me right now, psychologically speaking, is a high respect for a girl who disagrees with my joining the army. That is the hurdle that needs to be overcome.

Plus, this blog sucks. I need to update more often. Keep saying that but it never happens.

value

Pastor at harvest said something interesting the other day:

"You have no value, but you ARE valued."

He was saying how in a world of 6-billion people, with billions who have already died in the past and billions to come (maybe lol), your life inherently does not have much value. The world can go on without you if you died right now. BUT, God values us. So despite our lack of any value (i'm pretty much a worthless sack of meat and bones), God values us enough to die for us (Rom 5).

Maybe it's my flesh saying "Hey, i do have value. whatchoo talkin' bout, willis?" but i dunno.

What do YOU think?

justified and sanctified

as of lately, i've been learning a lot about the difference between justification and sanctification (theologically, anyways). i realize that a lot of times i mix up justification (which comes from God and God alone) and sanctification (which requires us to do something through the power of God). let's define some stuff first;

justification - being made right before God, happens once, at the point of new-birth. when you are a born-again Christian, your standing with God is as if God views you with no sin. you have been saved. you are covered with the blood of Christ. you cannot do anything about this, you do not bring about your own justification.

sanctification - after being saved, each and every Christian slowly conforms to the image of Christ (until we're transformed perfectly to Christ's image when we're glorified). we rid ourselves of sin, deceit, malice, wickedness. we stop conforming to the patterns of the world and we conform to Christ's righteousness instead. all through the power of the Holy Spirit. without Him, sanctification is not possible.

so, as of late i've been mixing up the two. trying to work for my justification, and the assumption that i am already perfectly sanctified. wow ggitf. how wrong i am! trying to do things to "get saved" just doesn't fly with God. in ephesians, we see we are dead in our sins, dead, DEAD! dead people don't rise by themselves. we need God to resurrect us from the dead, to bring us back from the sin that we love so much, and to be made right before Him before we can even do anything for Him.

after that, it's not like we're suddenly perfect, sinless, and mega-holy. in God's eyes in judgment day, yes, but for now we're still humans, we still sin, we still fall. and sanctification is the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives after we've been born again to conform to Christ's image. we still can't do it. praise God! but we must allow and heed what the Holy Spirit is doing in our lives and to follow what the bible teaches us. we can't just 'sit back' and 'just let God do it all', but at the same time we have to realize we can't sanctify ourselves without the Holy Spirit working. crazies!

anyways, that's just a brief. i'll try to blog more on other things i've been learning.

fight the good fight!

imma bach

OH MAN. it's been a while since i've blogged. let's go for a quick update.

this term was...pretty crap. spiritually speaking, academically, emotionally. no hollerin' that 116, depressed in my sins instead of remembering the cross, thinking i can fail God's plans, having so many idols that i was my own god. so much pride, so much lust, so much coveting, so much sin. and that's just off the top of my head. my faith was constantly fluctuating, going from highs and then straight down to lows; from desiring God to denying Him; from wanting a life sold-out to the Lord to wanting a life of my own.

yea...wasn't a fun term. i can go into more details but i don't think it's necessary. BUT, i am glad i went through these times. something that God has taught me throughout this term is that HE is FAITHFUL. my devotion to Him isn't something i can necessarily 'maintain' all the time, or something that is based on my effort or on how much i try to get closer to God because frankly, i will fall from time to time. i have no doubt that in the future i will deny the Christ, be ashamed again, doubt His promises, and just want nothing to do with God. BUT i also know that He remains faithful despite my wishy-washyness. His faithfulness out-trumps my tendencies to stray. How great is His mercy!

If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. if we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. 2 Timothy 2:11-13

so then, knowing that God is faithful, there is no option but to just suck it up, in a sense. if i'm "not feeling" sharing the Gospel, or don't want to do something for Kingdom purposes, i still have no excuses. i am already justified, seen as righteous before God because of the sacrifice that Jesus Christ paid on the cross, and now the Holy Spirit works to crush sin in my life. and so, i can cry more about it when i'm not 'feelin' it. my faith is not based on what i feel at a given time but on what i know is true. and that is Christ, God in the flesh, came to pay for the sins of mankind that all have committed against God. so what now? gotta preach the gospel!

Yet when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! If I preach voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me. 1 Corinthians 9:16-17

some brief thoughts. still fine-tuning them sketchy things out, still a working progress... :)

overdose

whooot it's out!

http://www.reachrecords.com/rehab/